Years ago I bought my mother a Scotch tape dispenser like the kind I had on my desk. It was to replace the little plastic dispensers she had been using. Mom loved Scotch tape. I wrote about her obsession in one of my old columns so I won’t repeat it here. This story is about my inability to remove the residue the tape left behind. Every mirror and wall, the inside of every cupboard and even the screen door and medicine cabinet bear witness to Mom’s tape mania. The imprints didn’t bother me until I started the spring cleaning ritual. Now I’m at my wit’s end and need advice on how to remove the residue.
I’ve tried scrubbing with plain old soap and water. No luck. Google said dousing a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol was guaranteed to do the trick. Didn’t work. One online site suggested putting a piece of paper over the sticky stuff and using a hot iron to melt it off. All that accomplished was burning the paper as well as the wall. As a last resort I got out Goo Gone, olive oil and nail polish remover. Obviously, I applied each one separately and guess what. The remains of the tape held firm.
Perhaps I should mention that what I’m trying to get rid of is really old. Like everything else we buy today, Scotch tape isn’t made the way it used to be. I have a new refill roll of Scotch “Magic” tape. The box it’s in is dated 2012 and says it was made in the U.S.A. with “globally sourced materials” whatever that means. If Mom had used this tape, I suppose it would peel off in a jiffy and leave nothing behind, but what I’m dealing with is over 45 years old. It sticks like glue. I’m giving Mom the benefit of the doubt and saying she probably didn’t start taping newspaper and magazine clippings, recipes and favorite photographs until she had lived in her new mobile home for at least four years. So you can see what I’m up against.
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I want my place to look nice. I want to spruce it up a bit in case I get the urge to put it on the market. Although it’s old, it’s a nice home for an elderly couple who don’t want to climb a lot of stairs or newlyweds who can’t afford a palatial residence. True, my appliances are white and my sink is the original one which means it’s green. The flooring is almost new and the floor itself is sound. The bathroom is updated. The bedrooms are small, but sufficient. The living room is large due to the expando. Many of the crank windows have been replaced with new Jeld-Wen, tilt pocket frame ones. In other words, if I could remove that stinking tape, this place would be a real gem. I’m not advertising it so don’t get excited. I’m merely seeking advice.
In the world order of things, my problem is insignificant, but in my world, it’s a major headache. I overlook issues I cannot control like ticks and the weather, but this tape business should be in my control. However, it’s managed to stump me. So if any reader has a solution that will actually work, I’m all ears. And if you read my birthday blog, you know that’s no lie. I am all ears and I’m willing to listen.
— To contact Sharon Kennedy, send her an email at authorsharonkennedy.com. Kennedy's latest book, “The SideRoad Kids: Tales from Chippewa County,” is available from her, Amazon, or Audible.